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Relax
& Take The Pressure Off Yourselves
First things first take the pressure off yourselves.
You'll both have had a long day and you'll need to
unwind and get used to being in each other's company
after sharing a room with hundreds if not thousands
of people!
Change out of your wedding clothes, into something
comfortable, put the do not disturb notice on your
door, make sure its locked, order room service and
just relax and talk to each other about your wedding
day. Share with each other the high points of the
wedding, and what you remember most. Present a small
wedding night gift to each other. Arrange a wake-up
call if you need to catch a flight.
Once you've relaxed in each others company, you may
like to set the scene to become more intimate and
cosy. Start with a bath or Jacuzzi in the honeymoon
suite as this will help relax the two of you. Follow
the bath with some mood-boosting sensual massage that
will enable you to connect with each other physically
and relax each other.
Talk,
Talk, Talk & Talk!
Talk, talk, talk. Lingerie, candles and music can
help you relax, but here is nothing as stimulating
as talking to each other. Even kissing comes next
to talking it out, especially for new couples. People
who straight get into bed, responding to the heat
of the moment can seldom strike the intimacy that
emerges after you've spoken and confided into each
other about your desires (and even your anxieties).
Awkwardness is the biggest wedge that drives a couple
apart when it comes to sexual intimacy If you both
have not sat down to discuss sex and intimacy before
your wedding night, now is the time to do so. No one
can teach you how to have sex or be intimate with
each other, its as individual as your fingerprints.
A chat about it will take away a lot of anxiety that
you feel.
Discuss your preferences and desires with each other.
The very fact that you're sensitive to each others
sexual dreams and fantasies will draw you closer to
each other. And if you can talk to each other about
the "how" and the "where", you
can look forward to a lot of sexual thrill together.
Many men who are more experienced than their Asian
bride's complain that a "suhaag raat"
is ruined because the Asian
bride is too shy, too anxious or too self-conscious
to make love. As her husband its your job to be understanding
and considerate. Look at it this way, it is not the
easiest thing in the world to shed clothes and make
passionate love with a man, who may well be a bit
of a stranger. She is only getting to know you. Don't
take her multiple apprehensions for the first time
as rejection. It is not about you, it is about her.
And you should be okay with that and able to talk
to her about it and make her feel relaxed and comfortable.
Similarly for the woman, If you want a man to do something,
or to stop, tell him. Don't think that the expression
on your face is going to do the talking for you. If
you don't learn to speak for yourself in bed, your
guy will think all is fine. It may not be. Educate
him without hurting his ego. Intimacy and sex is about
mutual satisfaction and enjoyment, the more you communicate
with each other the closer you'll feel and will enjoy
yourselves a whole lot more.
It's
Not All About Sex
Several newly-weds admit that they do not actually
have sex on their wedding night. This may not be a
bad thing after all. Picture yourself having gone
through months of planning and preparation for this
biggest day in your life. The various customs and
reception, if all done on the same day, can be especially
overwhelming. Some couples are simply too tired after
the whole affair that they just want to relax and
be intimate with each other.
You can enjoy other types of intimacy, such as talking,
touching, hugging and kissing, massages and caressing.
Remember that sexual desire can be expressed in different
ways not just by the convention.
For women especially, lovemaking is not just sex.
Hugs, kisses or just cuddling up together can make
for a great substitute if you're not feeling up to
it. So whether you make love on the first night or
not, be sure that you hold each other close and let
your emotions seep into each other. Try it, there
are few things like it.
Look in each others eyes and say "I love you":
The best time to confess about your love to your partner
is when you are intimate with each other or during
sex. If you can talk at this time, you can talk anytime!
Eye contact intensifies intimacy as does telling each
other that you care for each other.
There's
No Right Or Wrong Way
Sex is really not meant to be something stressful.
While there have been many books which attempt to
recommend various ways of doing it, what's most important
is the level of comfort between a couple. Don't worry
about doing it the right way. For a start, just let
things come naturally and enjoy each other's intimacy
for the night. If things go further, great!
Don't worry if things don't turn out perfect the first
time - you will have many more nights to practice.
The first time is always awkward to many couples,
since this is a big step to removing any barriers
between you two. Give yourselves more time to understand
what each other needs and how you can do it better
next time. As the saying goes, "Practice makes
Perfect".
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