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The wedding night can be a taboo topic of
discussion with many people, especially with us Asians.
Yet, it is something all newlyweds will deal with and
hopefully enjoy. Rather than keeping it under the
covers, its something best brought out in the open and
discussed.
Like many other brides and grooms to be, you may be
wondering how to approach your wedding night and a flood
of questions may be entering your mind. Do all couples
have sex on their wedding night? How do first-timers
deal with the excitement, anxiety, or even fright
involved with "having to do it" on the night
itself. Will you feel embarrassed after "the act"?
These are all fairly ../../common questions and if you
are thinking about them, rest assured, you are not
alone.
How you and your fiancé approach your wedding
night will of course depend upon whether you have been
sexually active with each other before marriage. Even if
you have, the chances are that the stress and exhaustion
of your wedding day may not guarantee the best sex of
your marriage and you will need to take this into
account when planning your "suhaag raat".
On the other hand, if you and your partner are sexual
strangers to each other or one or both of you are
virgins (not an un../../common situation!) you may be
feeling nervous, anxious, or even frightened, and
perhaps understandably so. But don't be; following the
advice in this article along with some ../../common
sense and mutual understanding will guarantee you a
wedding night to remember regardless of whether or not
you end up having sex! |
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Don't Have Unrealistic
Expectations
As you start your new lives together, you wouldn't be alone
in hoping that your wedding night will be your most romantic
moment to date. The fact is, a perfect wedding night belongs
on the cinema screen. More often than not, the bride and
groom are exhausted and stressed from pre-wedding build-up
and late nights. This will not lead to the best frame of
mind for mutually satisfying lovemaking.
Whatever your personal experience, your strategy should be
not to make a big deal about your wedding night. Don't put
unnecessary pressure on yourselves which will make you
anxious and uncomfortable and detract from your enjoyment of
your first night together; there are no do's and don'ts
about what should happen. Just relax and take the time to
communicate together and be intimate with each other rather
than having any expectations of what should happen.
If you make each other comfortable and are intimate with
each other on the first night itself, good sex is sure to
follow either on your suhaag raat or in the days to come.
Moreover if you do end up having sex and if the first night
wasn't mind-blowing, you have the rest of your life to
perfect the technique. Right now just concentrate on
enjoying being with each other. If sex follows great, if not
you've got the whole of your lives together!
Plan &
Be Prepared
Many couples spend months planning the minutest details
of their wedding but give very little thought to their
wedding night. Some of the meticulous attention that you
dedicate to planning your wedding, should also be applied
to preparing for your wedding night. The more prepared you
are the less awkward and more enjoyable it will be.
Ideally you should both take some time out to discuss
your expectations of your wedding night and what you would
enjoy doing together. Get to know and respect each other's
desires, fantasies and boundaries. (You could even read
over this article together as a basis for further
discussion). Having brought things out in the open before
the wedding night and let down a few barriers, you will
both find yourselves more relaxed when you retire to the
honeymoon suite.
You should both make an effort to visit the gym, trim
down any excess flab and tone up in the run up to your
wedding. If you look good, not only will your partner
respond favourably, you'll feel much more confident.
On a similar note regardless of what you normally sleep
in, your wedding night is not the time to exhibit your
best set of PJ's or that faded shalwar kameez, which is
just so comfortable! Go out and buy yourself something
special, which will make you look and feel like a million
dollars. This is a special night, make an effort for each
other. We're not talking anything, which is out of
character for you, just whatever you're comfortable in but
makes you look sexy - a pair of designer boxers or an
attractive item of lingerie.
Before the wedding preparations reach dizzying heights,
sit down and write what you want to pack in your luggage
for the night itself.
Here's what you may like to include.
- Attractive nightwear and underwear.
- CDs of mood music and/or music for lovers that will
relax you
- Scented candies to create a romantic ambience
- Bubble bath. Although the hotel will probably be more
than happy to provide this.
- Sensual scents and massage oils such as lemon grass
or ginger. (Make sure that the scents appeal to both of
you.)
- Birth control (unless you are intending to start a
family straight away)
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