|
|
Changing
Times, Changing Etiquette...
Whilst wedding gift registries have become a widely
accepted practice in the mainstream, they are still a
new and somewhat frowned upon concept at British Asian
weddings. According to the traditional Asian mindset,
there seems to be something inherently greedy and
undesirable about actually telling your guests what you
would like for your wedding!
Fortunately, wedding etiquette is constantly changing,
particularly so amongst British Asians. The wedding
registry concept is particularly relevant for Asian
brides and grooms, most of whom will have been living
with their parents, or at least not living together
before their wedding They will be starting married life
in a new home and a wedding registry will help get home
making off to a good start. More importantly they can
avoid the "ten toaster syndrome", in other
words, getting duplicate gifts, which they either don't
want or don't need!
We are pleased to note that several British Asian
couples have already started to make use of wedding
lists and will hopefully become trendsetters for the
rest to follow. We encourage you to do the same!
"It's
Better To Give Than It Is To Receive"
Setting up a wedding registry shouldn't be a matter
of awkwardness or embarrassment. Don't forget that
wedding lists aren't just about receiving; they're
about giving too. Rather than demanding gifts, you're
actually helping your friends and family give you
something that you will really want and cherish.
|
|
|
Whether you want them to or not the people you invite to
your wedding will almost always want to celebrate the
occasion with a gift, so your wedding list is just as
valuable to them as it is to you. Bear in mind however that
no wedding guest is obliged to buy you a present at all,
list or no list, but most do, so why not give them the
opportunity to buy you something that you want!
What
To Include In Your Registry...
Hopefully you are now convinced that wedding registries
are the way to go, so how should you go about setting one
up? Obviously there's more to creating a dream wedding
registry than going to a store and grabbing a clipboard
and scanner. You need to start by thinking about what
items you'll need for your new household.
The first step is to take inventory of the things you and
your fiancée already have, talk about the style of
home you'd both like and then visit shops together to
search for items that would be suitable. Make sure that
the items you choose, are those which you'll both enjoy in
your future life together and not just for one or the
other of you. The items you include in your registry
should only be limited by your imagination. Be as creative
as you want and let your registry speak volumes about
your taste and style as a couple.
Having said this, it's important to keep some sort of
perspective. Sort out the "must haves" from the "love
to haves", in other words before you get carried away
with asking for luxuries and the latest gadgets make sure
you cover all the essentials. Most stores offering a
registry facility will be able to provide you with
comprehensive checklists of all the items you will need to
start up a new home - some of which you have possibly
overlooked.
Make sure that your list covers a wide range of value of
items, so that people can give you gifts according to
their budget and affections. Remember that older guests
will probably want to buy you more traditional gifts and
younger guests will want to get you things they are more
appreciative of.
Have The Courage To Be
Different...
If you already have all the household goods you will ever
need, or china and bed linen don't really do anything for
you, don't be afraid to put more unusual gifts on your
list. These could include donations to a charity on your
behalf, contributions towards a new car, unique
experiences like flying lessons or contributions towards
your honeymoon. Whatever you choose make sure that it
something which you want and which you can both enjoy
together.
Putting The Stores To
The Test...
Once you know what you are looking for, its time to
evaluate the various shops where you could have your
registry. There are no limits on the number
of stores that you can register with
and ultimately, the type of gifts you want will determine
where you register. Most stores now offer online wedding
registries, which make life easier for out of town guests
and others who prefer the ease of ordering gifts online.
Whichever stores you shortlist, here are a few key areas to
investigate.
Selection: What range of
products, brands and price ranges does the store carry?
Delivery: The best registries will deliver to any
address saving you the hassle of ensuring that your gifts
reach the right place.
Tracking: How will the retailer keep track of your
registry? How fast after a gift is bought will the
purchase be reflected on the list. Big retailers should
have a computerized online systems that are updated
frequently
Exchanges: How long is the exchange and return
period? What are the terms? The exchange and refund policy
is crucial. You don't want to end up with any duplicate
items or get back from your honeymoon and find that you
have a few days left to return any items you don't want.
Sealing The Deal: Once you decide on a registry
program(s), fill out the appropriate forms that should
include a list of your products. Ask for a master list and
read it carefully to make sure there are no mistakes,
Double check the mailing address for where gifts will be
sent. Last but not least get the business card of the
person who helped you set up the registry so that you have
a point of contact for future questions or problems.
Announcing
Your Wish List...
Your registry should be up and running approximately
three to four months before your wedding, around the time
that you are getting your invitations printed, so that you
can include all the necessary details.
It is becoming increasingly acceptable to send out
details of your registry or the list itself, with the
invites, if only to avoid circulating lots of pieces of
paper. You can also include your registry information on
your personal wedding website, if you have one.
Keep
Your Registry Up To Date...
A good registry will automatically update your list every
time a purchase is made. However make sure to visit your
registry often in the weeks leading up to your wedding, to
update it with additional selections as products are
purchased. This will ensure that all your guests can give
you presents, which suit their taste and budget.
After The Wedding...
After the wedding you may like to complete your registry
yourself and purchase all the remaining items on your
registry. Many stores offer this option at a discount.
Alternatively you may like to keep your registry open for
a few months after your wedding, so that those who have
not had a chance to do so can present you with a gift.
Don't forget to be gracious and let your guests know when
their gifts have arrived. Thank you notes should be sent
out as soon as possible after your honeymoon and in all
notes be sure to mention the gift by name, so that your
friends and family know that their gift has been
appreciated! |
