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When it comes to changing your surname
after marriage, what's the name of the game
for you? That is, will you change your maiden
name (your surname before marriage) and if
so, to what? This is likely to be one of the
most difficult decisions you will take and
requires careful thought and consideration.
Your options are many and we help you through
the decision by listing and analysing the
various options you have.
THE LEGALITIES OF IT ALL
There is no legal requirement in the United Kingdom
for a woman to change her surname when she gets
married. It is your own personal choice, although by
tradition (Asian & Western) it is generally
expected that a woman will replace her maiden name
with her husband's surname.
Upon marriage, there are two automatic legal options
available to you. You can either continue to use your
maiden name or you can change your maiden name to your
husband's surname. If you decide to take your
husband's surname, the marriage certificate provides
the necessary documentary evidence that you have
changed your name to send off to the concerned
companies and organisations that will need to be
informed.
TAKING HIS NAME
Changing your maiden name to your husband's surname
is the traditional and simplest option. It is still,
by far, the most preferred (and often expected) option
of today's brides, particularly in the Asian
Community, who tend to be more conventional than their
Mainstream counterparts.
With both parties using the same surname, life is
made considerably easier and less confusing to others
when making joint financial, legal and social
arrangements. This is particularly relevant when
children are involved - children whose parents have
different surnames may feel confused or insecure.
There's also a romantic and ideological argument for
taking your husband's name. If you're willing to take
him for better or worse, for richer or poorer etc etc
why not take his name along with the whole package as
well? Hopefully you will feel that the man you marry
has a lovely family, which you will be honoured to be
part of, signified by sharing their name. For many
women taking the name of the man they love and
becoming a "Mrs" is one of the most romantic
and significant part of getting married
With Asian wedding rituals, Hindi, Muslim or Sikh,
based on the idea of a bride leaving her family and
parental home to start a new life as part of her
husbands family, it's little surprise that taking the
husband's name is the preferred route for many Asian
Brides. Changing your name doesn't necessarily mean
that you are relinquishing your identity or forgetting
where you came from. Neither does it mean that your
husband will own you, rather it's simply that you will
belong to him (A subtle but nonetheless discernable
difference).
Conversely, for many women of the feminist schools
of thought, for a woman to change her surname
reinforces the outdated idea that a married woman is
the property of her husband. Such people would argue
that by removing a woman's surname, you remove the
person's identity, history and heritage, A counter
argument to this would be that any woman whose
self-esteem is so precarious that it hinges on which
surname she attaches to herself has bigger problems to
worry about.!
Essentially, the impact of a name change on each
woman's identity will depend on her character. The new
status represented by 'Mrs' will have different
meanings for everyone, more traditional for some
women, and more modern for others, depending on
factors including upbringing, society, religion, and
the strength the woman's previous identity. Some women
could use the name-change as an opportunity to bury
the past, make a fresh start, motivate personal
development and bring about many more positive changes
in their lives
If you decide that this route is for you, after your
marriage, you simply send your marriage certificate to
all the numerous government departments, companies and
organisations that you deal with so they can amend
your records. You will also need to create a new
signature for yourself that incorporates your new
surname!
KEEPING YOUR MAIDEN NAME
AFTER MARRIAGE
If you decide to continue using your maiden name
after marriage, the established convention is to
replace the title Miss by Ms. This option has become
increasingly popular for business and professional
women, since continuity of the woman's name is
maintained. This option has the clear advantage of
there being no need to change any of your documents
However, many women using Ms. for this reason, will
take their husband's surname for their legal name for
all matters outside the workplace.
Generally in the mainstream, the brides who keep their
names tend to be achievers and individualists
who have already established their names professionally
... and see no reason to surrender them. The
higher their education level, the less likely
they are to follow conventional practice.
Whether this remains true for British Asian
brides remains to be seen but a significant
number of Asian women are opting to retain
their maiden name.
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